<<silently>>\n<<set $jules = "yes">>\n<<endsilently>>You can tell the place is overpriced by the exposed weathered-brick wall, but it's been home, and you like it - even though the view from the bedroom window is just more weathered bricks. The dying light from the window slants over the framed [[records|Records]], the vintage [[show posters|Posters]], the [[Rickenbacker|Bass]], all lined up on that overpriced wall.\n\nAcross the room, sitting on your practice amp, is some albino kid in a hoodie.\n\n"Hey," he says. "I know this is gonna be pretty sudden, but you're dead."\n\n> [["Fuck you and get the hell out of my house!"|NotDead]]\n> [["Oh. Well, shit."|Dead]]
You look the busted-up harmonica over and then toss it back to Jill. Why's he carrying that trash around in his pockets, anyway?\n\n[[back|JulesDesertCamp]]
"It's up to you," he says in response to your questioning look. "There's probably [[stuff|Jules1JillSellCity]] to see [[anywhere|Jules1JillSellDesert]] you want to go."\n\n[[back|Jules1]]
"What do you mean?"\n\n"Well - this might be your journey but I'm still your guide, and I don't know where we're going but I sure know some places we MIGHT go."\n\n"So you're saying Hell."\n\n"That's one of the options. [[Usually]] I'll send a fella to [[the bird people|BirdPeople]] if they deserve it, myself, but every 'pomp's got their own preferences."\n\nHe says this without looking menacing at all. You can't really take him seriously as a threat of eternal damnation.\n\n[[back|religious]]
"What's out there, then?"\n\nJill looks past you into the desert, his eyes burning bright enough now to cast a glow on his face beneath the charcoal hood. "A river," he says. No, it's a Pronouncement - it sounds like he's [[doing prophecies|Jules1JillWTFMagic]] or some shit. Only on that one word, though - he's his usual cheerfully-hollow-voiced self again when he continues: "I won't know [[which one|Jules1JillRivers]] until we're closer, though."\n\n[[back|Jules1Jill]]
PLACEHOLDER\n\n> [[Camp out here|JulesDesertCamp]]
<<silently>>\n<<set $drew= "yes">>\n<<endsilently>>The hospital room has never been empty before. You look to the left, to the chair where your wife has been sitting every day, but all you see is the red glow of sunset through the blinds. The lights are off in the room.\n\nYou realize you can't hear any nurses, no hospital bustle outside.<<continue "...">>\n\nYou realize the machines at your bedside aren't beeping.<<continue "...">>\n\nYou realize you're sitting up, without any pain.<<continue "...">>\n\nYou realize you're not alone in the room. \n\nSitting on the other bed is a young man with a white face and black eyes... like two pissholes in a snowbank, is how your papa would have put it. He has his hands in his pockets and his sneakers are swinging above the pristine linoleum.\n\nWhen he sees you've noticed him he smiles and says "Hi."\n\nHis feet stop swinging and he looks at you with the smile fading into something earnest and serious. "I know this is gonna be pretty sudden," he tells you, "but you're dead."\n\nEarnest and serious but not what you'd call sad. He doesn't seem to think he should feel sorry about it.\n\n> [["No! I'm just dreaming or something!"|NotDead]]\n> [["Oh. That makes sense."|Dead]]
You start to notice that it's still sunset, even though you've been talking for a while. That last golden light is usually more ephemeral than this.\n\n[[back|Job]]
"There's a lot of different companies, then? Who decides who gets which one? I didn't ask for this." \n\n"Oh yeah, tons - most of your various [[religious]] and cultural groups handle their own stuff, and there's a few nondenominational ones. Ferryman's," and here he straightens his shoulders and shifts his intonation so you can tell he's quoting boilerplate, "is one of the oldest independent psychopompery firms, and we bring [[personal attention|PersonalAttention]] and care to every journey."\n\nHe switches back out of boilerplate mode and continues: "As to who decides it - I really got no idea. I don't work in Dispatching, y'know? I just take what they give me."\n\n[[back|psychopomp]]
It's such a fine sight to see, but there are no girls or flat-bed Fords.\n\n[[back|Jules1]]
<<silently>>\n<<set $drew = "no">>\n<<set $jules = "no">>\n<<set $three = "no">>\n<<endsilently>>You wake up just at sunset.\n\nYou're in your room. The [[hospital room|Hospital]] where you've spent so much time the last few years - no, it's your [[apartment|City]] in the city. Or is it the room you had [[as a child|Kid]]?
like deeper than he is thick\n\n[[back|WhereAreWe]]
"So, are you like the Grim Reaper?"\n\n"[[Kiiiinda|KindaReaper]]," he says slowly. "That's a brand name, and we're a [[different|CorporateCulture]] [[company|Job]]." <<if visited("BusinessCard")>>Oh, right, he had that business card.<<else>><<endif>>\n\n[[back|Guide]]
"Good enough for what?"\n\n"If you don't remember anything about who you are then what reason do you have to stick around? People [[move on|Jules1JillMoveOn]] at that point, generally."\n\n[[back|Jules1JillForgotten]]
"Going where?"\n\n"Well, that's up to you," he says, utterly unhelpfully although I'm sure he's trying his best. "You don't know [[where you want to go|WhereAreWe]] yet, so we'll have to go out and find it. I promise it'll end up making sense, okay?"\n\n<<if visited("WhoIs")>><<else>>> [["Who are you, anyway?"|WhoIs]]<<endif>>\n> [["Okay, then let's go."|LetsBegin]]
"That's some real precise location skills you've got, there."\n\n"Everything's fuzzy down here," Jill shrugs. "Some places have exponential population growth so everything else has to scoot over to make room for 'em."\n\n[[back|Jules1JillFamousRivers]]
"Religious... so... was EVERYBODY right?"\n\n"That's one way of looking at it, I guess," he says, "but I'm not religious myself so I'm really not the guy to ask about the topic. I wouldn't say EVERYBODY, though. Like, if you did a lot of murders when you were alive but you convinced yourself that you're gonna get to spend eternity in [[Ice Cream Wonderland|IceCreamWonderland]] you're probably gonna find out you're [[wrong|GoToHell]]."\n\n[[back|CorporateCulture]]
"There are banks in the underlife?"\n\n"There's <<if $drew eq "no">>[[all kinds|AllKinds]]<<else>>all kinds<<endif>> of shit in the underlife," he says, grinning. "I like that, can I use it - the 'underlife' thing? But yeah - there's all kinds of stuff! Come on and we'll go find some of it!" He's ready to head toward the door.\n\n[[You have some more questions before you jump into this, though.|salaries]]\n\n[["Okay!"|LetsBegin]]
"Do you get time off? Or like vacation days? Can you get sick if you're dead? Do they give you sick days?"\n\nHe laughs and holds up his hands. "Are you looking for a job already? We haven't even left your room yet!"\n\n[[back|Job]]
It looks like it's been stepped on. "What happened to it?" \n\n"It got stepped on."\n\n[[back|cards]]
"Knowing shit makes your eyes catch fire?"\n\n"It's not just knowing shit, it's The Knowledge," he says, "and I always forget it's doing that," as if it's something he needs to apologize for. Like, why would you be calling it out if it didn't bother you?\n\n[[back|Jules1JillWTFMagic]]
You've had it since that year you were in college. You might as well be married to it, and you've probably shed more blood on those frets than people shed in childbirth. At least in this day and age, and assuming they're healthy and it's not a c-section and nobody gets a hemorrhage or anything. Okay, maybe that's hyperbole. [[Moving on.|previous()]]
Blue, to be specific.\n\n[[back|WhereAreWe]]
"So are you dead too?"\n\nYou didn't expect it to be a hard question but he sure looks like it's a stumper. "I'm not alive," he offers. \n\n"And that's the best answer you've got?"\n\n"And that's the best answer I've got."\n\n[[back|WhereAreWe]]
<<silently>>\n<<set $harmonica = "yes">>\n<<endsilently>>Most of the notes still play, and it still sounds - just barely - good enough not to completely sap your will to live. Or, um, to continue to be dead? After you mess with it a while you decide its condition actually makes it sound more authentic. You wail out an appropriately mournful-sounding rendition of "Home on the Range" under the contented glow of Jill's eyes. Somewhere in the distance you hear a lone wolf howl - the first soul you've had evidence of so far.\n\n[[back|JulesDesertCamp]]
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"How much do you get paid? HOW do you get [[paid|ISITSOULS]]?" \n\n"I'm not really comfortable discussing my salary," he says reluctantly, "but - I mean, they just send a [[check]]. I don't work on commission or anything."\n\n[[back|Job]]
<<if $jules eq "yes">>"What, like, are you some kind of undead gigolo? Nothing personal, but I'm not really feeling it."\n\n"Wha- no!"<<else>><<endif>>\n\n"So what do you mean by personal attention?"\n\n"Well, some places leave you sitting around in a waiting room for half of eternity, and some places run 'em in groups, but we figure one on one is the best way to make sure everybody ends up where they'll really be happiest. It means we run a little less efficiently than everybody else, but, hey - eternity is really, really long, so we can afford to use some of it now so the rest of it's better, right?"\n\nHe's not even using the boilerplate voice for that - he really cares about this stuff. Dweeb.\n\n[[back|CorporateCulture]]
A couple of them are yours, but mostly it's for the album art. You tried to avoid the really obvious stuff - no Stones, no Floyd, no Strokes - so it ended up being a mix of incredibly pretentious signalling devices and "ironic" shit you picked up at the thrift store, which is a kind of pretentious signalling device of its own, come to think of it. \n\n[[back|previous()]]
<<if $jules eq "yes">>The sudden realization that even the fucking afterlife works under some pretense of a capitalistic system fills you with such disgust that you immediately fuck off to haunt an advertising executive for all eternity.<<else>>"Is this, like, your JOB? Do you work 9-5? How does that work?" You had no idea reapers or tour guides or whatever he's calling himself even existed, of course, but if you had, you wouldn't ever have started wondering about their [[salaries]] and stock options and [[such|PTO]] all on your own.\n\n"Yeah, it's my job, but [[time doesn't always have numbers so much|Time]] around here? It's less '9-5' than 'until you get where you're going,' y'know." \n\n[[back|psychopomp]]<<endif>>
"Okay, well, forget about where we're going - where ARE we?"\n\n"The Underworld," he says. "Or the Afterlife, it depends [[who you ask|UnderLife]]. It's - " He pauses and makes a gesture as if he'll be able to tug the word out of midair. [[Deep]] within the [[black holes]] he's got for [[eyes]], something [[lights]] up with frustration. "It's where you go when [[you're dead|AreYouDeadTho]], and I know that's a pretty shit answer, I'm sorry."\n\n<<if visited("WhoIs")>><<else>>[["Who are you, anyway?"|WhoIs]]<<endif>>\n\n[["Okay, I'm ready to go."|LetsBegin]]
"Depending on who you ask?"\n\n"Yeah - some people say that the PLACE is the Underworld, because an afterlife is what you have after your regular life and therefore it can't be a place, but then other people point out that we're not under anything, so, y'know, it depends on who you ask."\n\n[[back|WhereAreWe]]
We're talking super vintage. We're talking you had to buy these at fucking auction vintage. You've always found it funny to have these expensive investments that could be totally destroyed in one fuck-up with a cigarette.\n\n[[back|previous()]]
"Did that do anything? Since you're not alive?"\n\n"Not really, but I think it's indicative of some personal problems," he answers seriously.\n\n[[back|GoToHell]]
It says "Ferryman's Guide Services" with an address in Central Elysium and a phone number with a strange amount of digits. \n\nHe pulls a red pencil from somewhere and scribbles his name and a number he says is his "hellp! review code" on the back of the card for you.\n\n[[back|WhoIs]]
"Do dogs have their own dog guides?"\n\n"I have no idea how it works with [[animals]]," he tells you with the kind of seriousness which informs you that he has already been thinking about this pretty thoroughly. "The thing is, even once they're dead they're still just animals, so I can't figure out how to talk to 'em and ask."\n\n[[back|Job]]
<<silently>>\n<<set $three = "yes">>\n<<endsilently>>It's just like you remember it - stuffed animals and sports posters, the old bedspread with a patch on it. Didn't the carpet used to be burnt over there - oh, yes, you can see the burned patches again now. \n\nYou can even smell the stale smoke. It always clung to those curtains above your bed.\n\nHey, there's your old Nintendo!\n\nAnd there's a boy - no, he's older than that; there's a young guy leaning against your dresser like an old friend.\n\n"Hey," he says. "I know this is gonna be pretty sudden, but you're dead."\n\n> [["No!"|NotDead]]\n> [["Oh."|Dead]]
He tries to convince you. He's pretty dedicated, for something that's obviously a figment of your imagination. You're not dead - you're just dreaming, you'll wake up any minute now, or maybe you're just home alone and everything's fine - the point is that you're not dead, okay? You're not. You're definitely not dead.\n\nMaybe HE was the dead one. That's it. He was a ghost all along. You just saw a ghost, that's all. You've been seeing more of them lately anyway. You never thought this place was haunted before, but now things keep moving. Sometimes the wallpaper is different. You hear voices, you see people. You're surrounded by ghosts...
Now that you look at them, his eyes are seriously strange. You'll have to ask him about that later, when Owell isn't too lazy to write the scene.\n\n[[back|WhereAreWe]]
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let's go for a walk
It looks a lot like [[Winslow, Arizona|EaglesJoke]], you think as you step outside. The door you just came out of closes behind you and seals itself into the solid bulk of a building. Behind you a town stretches like a soundstage. In front of you there's sidewalk and two lanes of asphalt and then the desert, flowing out all blue and silver in the twilight, crested with buttes like icebergs poking out of the north sea.\n\n[[Jill|Jules1Jill]] is waiting patiently for your decision with his hands in his pockets.\n\n> [[Go poke around the town.|JulesTown]]\n> [[Head into the desert.|JulesDesert]]
"What do you mean, they're people?"\n\n"They're people! One of my best friends is a bird person - her name's Karrarack. And they're people, you know, just a very different culture than what most humans have."\n\nAh, he's a bird people justice warrior.\n\n[[back|BirdPeople]]
"Is that a real place?"\n\nHe clearly puts a lot of very serious thought into this before solemnly informing you: "Not to my Knowledge."\n\n[[back|religious]]
"I'm not dead! There's no way!"\n\nThe guy in the hoodie bites his lip, shakes his head a little. He looks like someone's aunt at an intervention. "It's a lot to take in, I understand. But it happens to everybody some time, right? And hey, look - this isn't an ending, is it? We're just getting started here!"\n\n> [[On second thought, I might be dead...|Dead]]\n> [["No! NO! I'M NOT DEAD! I CAN'T HEAR YOU TRA LA LA"|Ghost]]
PLACEHOLDER\n\n[[nothing here yet go back|Jules1]]
"Okay but what's up with the freaky-deaky eye glowy bullshit stuff?"\n\nJill blinks at you like he's surprised to hear that he has freaky-deaky glowy bullshit eyes. When he blinks it looks like his eyes just disappear in the holes in his face, flames turned off like switching off a gas stove. Then back on again before they dim down to the flicker of a couple of Zippos being held by people in the first row of the balcony - this is what is normal for his freaky-deaky glowy eyes, apparently.\n\n"Oh!" Jill says. "That's [[the Knowledge|Jules1JillKnowledge]]. It's [[how I know|Jules1JillHowIKnow]] where to go to get to [[places|Jules1JillPlaces]]."\n\n[[back|Jules1JillSellDesert]]
Jill pulls a deck of [[cards]] from his pocket and sits shuffling them.
"What, are there only, like, three?"\n\n"No, no, there's tons more - this place is stitched together with rivers. But sometimes they're just water and sometimes they're [[not|Jules1JillFamousRivers]], and they're pretty much always real important landscape features. A river flows from somewhere to somewhere and it divides two things, y'know?"\n\n"I guess philosophical bullshit like that is unavoidable when you're in some kinda allegorical afterlife," you sigh.\n\n[[back|Jules1JillSellDesert]]
"I mean, there's not just ONE reaper in the world - there's more than one Grim Reaper even, they just have really strict uniform rules. One person couldn't possibly handle every single death, y'know?"\n\n[[back|psychopomp]]
"Forget what?"\n\n"Everything. All at once. You'll [[forget things|Jules1JillForgotten]] over time anyway, that's the way of things, but the Lethe just - " He pulls one hand out of his hoodie pocket to make a sort of wax-on gesture. "Blanks the slate."\n\n[[back|Jules1JillFamousRivers]]
"Yeah, I haven't used the long version in ages - I don't think it's real anymore. I don't even remember when people might've called me Virgil - I only remember that name as the explanation for my name, y'know? And I think I only remember that 'cause people keep asking." \n\n[[back|WhoIs]]
"How many times have you done that?"\n\n"Just once," he confesses, "and in my defense, he [[STABBED]] ME first."\n\n[[back|GoToHell]]
"There's other animals, too?"\n\n"There's EVERYTHING! Do you wanna see a dinosaur? Cuz they're dead too, so we can totally go find some." Any time you want to go out the door, he is THERE.\n\n> [[No, more talking!|Job]]\n> [[HOLY SHIT, DINOSAURS|LetsBegin]]
"What do you mean, guide? <<if visited("GoingWhere")>>Didn't you say we don't know where we're going? What good is a guide if you know where we're going?<<else>><<endif>>"\n\n"Well, the industry term is [[psychopomp]]," he says, a little self-conscious as he says the word. "Basically, I'm here to help you get yourself through this. Think less tour guide, more - help desk?" He laughs a little and tucks one hand into his hood to scratch the back of his head. "Admittedly a pretty frustrating help desk sometimes - I'm gonna have to do a lot of that 'You Must Find This Out For Yourself, <<if $three eq "no">>[[My Child|MyChild]]<<else>>My Child<<endif>>' shit, no way around it, unfortunately."\n\n[[back|WhoIs]]
"What about you?"\n\n"Oh, I've forgotten all kinds of shit," he says with a grin. "I mean, I don't know my own name here. I don't remember jack of who I might've been if I used to be a ghost, but I remember who I AM and that's [[good enough|Jules1JillGoodEnough]]."\n\n[[back|Jules1JillLethe]]
"Who are you, anyway?"\n\nHe suddenly straightens up, looking embarrassed. "Oh! Sorry - my name is [[Jill]], and I'll be [[your guide|Guide]] for this journey." He fishes a business card out of his pocket and writes on it before he [[hands it|BusinessCard]] to you.\n\n<<if visited("GoingWhere")>><<else>>> [["But where are we going?"|GoingWhere]]<<endif>>\n> [["Well, okay - let's get going, then."|LetsBegin]]
"What is it, then? It's SO TOTALLY souls."\n\n"It's NOT SOULS!" he insists. "Personally, I've been drawing my pay in doubloons, but that's just because they're shiny. <<if visited("check")>>You can find somebody trading in pretty much any dead currency <<else>>You can find somebody trading in pretty much any dead [[currency|check]]<<endif>> if you look hard enough, though."\n\n[[back|Job]]
"Jill?"\n\n"It [[used to be|DeadName]] short for Virgil."\n\n[[back|WhoIs]]
"What about dogs? Are there dogs in the afterlife? DO all dogs go to heaven?"\n\n"Yeah, there's [[dogs]]. Not just in Heaven, either. Do you wanna go find one?"\n\n> [[Not yet - you're still curious.|Job]]\n> [[YES LET'S GO FIND A DOG IMMEDIATELY|LetsBegin]]
"But I mean," you say, "what do you get paid in? Dollars? Euros? Golden apples? Souls? IS IT SOULS?"\n\n"It's not [[souls!|IBETITSSOULS]]"\n\n[[back|Job]]\n
"And that consists of what?"\n\n"I don't know, I've never done it."\n\n[[back|Jules1JillGoodEnough]]
"Don't you 'my child' me, I'm older than you!" \n\nHe can't stop himself from laughing at you. "I'm pretty sure you're kinda not," he says, "no offense."\n\n... That's really obvious, in retrospect. It's not like you're the first person who ever died in the whole wide world.\n\n[[back|Guide]]
"What about bird people?"\n\n"Well, they're [[people|Karrarack]], but they look like giant birds with people legs - unless you ask them; they think humans look like themselves but with weird torsoes and shit - and they're an [[Indigenous Underworld People|LocalNatives]]. The agency gets a tax break for sending folks to their [[place|ButWhy]]."\n\n[[back|GoToHell]]\n
"There are people who are native to the underworld?"\n\n"Oh yeah, absolutely. The bird people aren't the only ones - there's goat people and people made entirely of rock and skeleton people and, wow, just all kinds of people, you know, it's a big place. Oh, but some of the skeleton people used to be alive and some of them are natives and you can't tell by looking, so - be sensitive if we meet any."\n\n[[back|BirdPeople]]
So you're dead. Well, now that you think about it, that makes sense. <<if $drew eq "yes">>That's why you were in the hospital, after all.<<else>><<endif>><<if $jules eq "yes">>You can almost remember it now - but you'd rather not.<<else>><<endif>><<if $three eq "yes">>People die all the time, anyway.<<else>><<endif>>\n\nThe young man smiles at you again, warmly. "So, let's get going, shall we?"\n\n> [["Going? Going where?"|GoingWhere]]\n> [["Who are you, anyway?"|WhoIs]]\n> [["Okay!"|LetsBegin]]
"I was a hellhop for a while, actually," Jill volunteers.\n\n[[back|Jules1JillSellCity]]
"SO YOU WERE LYING ABOUT THE DINOSAURS?"\n\nJill straightens up and looks you right in the eye, his own creepy eyes flickering with a blue flame that must mean he's being super extra magical-dead-boy Sincere and Earnest right now. "If you really want to see the dinosaurs or the dogs, I promise, I will do everything I can to help you find them."\n\n"Christ, I was joking."\n\n[[back|Jules1JillSellCity]]
He grins at you and holds the door open.\n\nYou step out into the night.\n\n\n\n\n<html><small><i>(to be continued eventually)</i></small></html>
"So, what, you just look over there and magically you know."\n\n"Yeah, exactly. I mean, I had to work for it, you have to get to know places before you can KNOW-Know them, it takes a real long-ass time, but once you got it you just call on it." He shrugs like this is perfectly natural.\n\n[[back|Jules1JillWTFMagic]]
"What do they do with the humans you send to them?" you ask, already regretting the question.\n\n"Oh, they eat their livers," he answers cheerfully, proving your regret worthwhile.\n\n[[back|BirdPeople]]
"I thought that was a harmonica for a second," you say, gesturing toward the deck.\n\n"I have one of those too!" Jill sets the cards aside and goes digging through all of his pockets until he finds it. "It's slightly [[crunchy]], but all the high notes play."\n\n> [[Play with the harmonica.|Harmonica]]\n> [[Fuck it, it's busted anyway.|NoHarmonica]]
owell h. cox
as in they are holes and they are black, not as in they suck things into them\n\n[[back|WhereAreWe]]
"You can't just buy a map?"\n\n"Maps don't work down here, cuz everything's fuzzy. You either have to Know where you're going, or just trust that you'll end up in the right place."\n\n"Sounds efficient."\n\n"That's why I'm here, cuz I've got the Knowledge," Jill explains patiently.\n\n[[back|Jules1JillWTFMagic]]
"Oh, great. There's probably stuff, says my fuckin' psychopomp."\n\n"Well, it's true!" Jill protests. "There's probably stuff. I can't guarantee any [[specific stuff|Jules1JillLIAR]], y'know. When you go on a safari they can't guarantee you'll see four tigers and - actually, that's a pretty bad example, cuz they WILL guarantee that, but here's the thing, they guarantee it by drugging up the animals first and laying them out where you'll see them, and I just don't think that applies to this situation."\n\n<<continue "Yeah, you don't see how that's relevant either, honestly.">> "So you're supposed to be my help desk, right? My Afterworld [[Concierge]]. So do some concierging. What's around the neighborhood? That place looks empty as hell.<<continue "...">> Shit."\n\nJill does you the favor of avoiding eye contact after that pun, and instead he turns toward the city, his eyes glowing a faint blue. You turn that way too, watching the blank black skyline against the stars. The place isn't that big - a couple of boxy buildings, the spire of a steeple.\n\n"Not a soul here but us right now," Jill confirms after a moment, "but that doesn't mean nothing to see." He looks toward you questioningly. "You from a city?"\n\n"Not this one."\n\n[[back|Jules1Jill]]
"What do you mean, not just water?"\n\n"The big one to watch out for is the Lethe. It kinda runs around the [[outside edge of things|Jules1JillNavigation]], and its water makes you [[forget|Jules1JillLethe]]. So it's great if you want that, but you want to know what you're getting into."\n\n[[back|Jules1JillRivers]]